Drunk is more fun than sober.

Well some marketing genius from a fan company aptly named “Big Ass Fans” sent me the following note:

Ms. Whiz,

Thank you for considering my application to regulate your body temperature.  Me and my AirGo never go anywhere without each other.  We have cooled a variety of high profile clients including former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin (she’s hot), Jack Morrison, and even Jessica Alba (this was during the filming of the acclaimed series Dark Angel, omg sooooo good beeteedoubleyou) one of the most intense assignments we have encountered.

I am certain that you will be satisfied with our service.  We never leave any customer dissatisfied. Me and my AirGo do not go anywhere without each other.  I can keep you cool in the most extreme situations.  I have attached a link so you can view my sidekick and partner in crime. Life partner is a better way of saying it.  We were meant for each other and would love for you to become the tri to our love angle.

We look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you. http://www.bigassfans.com/product/airgo/

To which I responded: That’s funny… you can have a link. 

Excessive heat impedes the flow of wisdom. So as not to deprive you, dear readers, of the contents of my enormous brain, I shall henceforth demand to be escorted everywhere by a personal brigade of air conditioning specialists / ensurers of optimal body-temperature.

Interested candidates may submit a cover letter and resume to whizdom@wtfdoido.com

Dear WTFDID,

I’m entering my mid-twenties and the other day, my dad starting talking to me about saving money. Wait… what? Am I supposed to be doing that? WTF do I do?

Dear Scrooge McDuck,

Saving money is super adult. And we at WTFDID have zero self control, a complete lack of self discipline and are stunningly devoid of any self restraint. Our official stance on financial responsibility is that saving money is just glorified hoarding. And— life tip of the day— you don’t want to be a hoarder.

Instead, we preach the gospel of instant gratification. For example here is some shopping that we did instead of completing this blog entry:

Pretty, right?

What a practical and timeless shoe. It will surely pay for itself in no time at all.

A necessary accessory for any cocktail occasion. We must have it.

We need this. 

This too.

If you’re smart, you’ll open a savings account so you can look forward to an early retirement.

Or, if you’re like us, you can relish in the momentary joy brought by impulse purchases and look forward to declaring bankruptcy by the time you’re 30 years old.

Problem Solved.